Jay Gatsby Was Toxic and I Can Prove It

Why did we fall in love with an abusive protagonist?

Claire Lowe
4 min readOct 20, 2021
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

The first time I read The Great Gatsby, I fell in love with the protagonist.

Jay Gatsby is a successful man who waited years for his loved one. He’s completely devoted to Daisy, moves mountains so they can be together, and loves her with all his heart. He’s the perfect romantic man, one you don’t find in modern days. I was 17 when I met Gatsby and back then, I decided this is what I wanted in a relationship.

Until I reread the book this year, and I felt… scared.

Ten years after the first read, I have more experience in relationships. I watch people’s behaviors, question their intentions, and watch out for the dangers of the dating world. This new perspective destroyed the image of the romantic Jay Gatsby that stayed with me for all these years.

Gatsby was not a romantic: he was a toxic man.

Daisy fell under his enchantments, as many women fall for narcissists. The story is not from her point of view — nor Gatsby’s —, we’re looking from the outside, and from this perspective, I can point out three behaviors of Gatsby that show he’s toxic:

He fell in love with a fantasy.

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Claire Lowe

Self-proclaimed writer. I write for creators, lovers, and curious people. Open to gigs: claireslowe@hotmail.com