How to become better at dating.

Last night, I felt insanely stressed from work. My to-do list grew exponentially, while my energy was lower with every box I checked. When I got home, I had no brain cells left. So I opened a bottle of wine and unlocked my phone screen.

Except, instead of going for Instagram, I opened my photos app.

I always find it comforting to look back at my experiences and remember the good times. It’s an interesting comparison to see how much I’ve changed over the years.

I scrolled until I found a picture of my first date with my boyfriend, Jonathan.


How you can avoid my mistakes.

Labels are lame. There are no benefits to labeling people — on the contrary, it’s a way to put you in a box and limit your potential. It’s a simplistic view of the world that doesn’t reflect the complexity of relationships.

At least, it’s what I used to think.

Everything changed when I met Gabriel. Our story destroyed the beliefs that guided my behavior so far — and changed my opinion forever.

It was my second year of university, and my best friend, Linda, introduced us at a house party. …


How a sea animal can improve your relationship.

Last week, I read the most intriguing headline: Female octopuses throw things at males that are harassing them.

Countless questions popped up in my mind. Do the octopuses do it intentionally? What do they consider to be harassment? How do octopuses relate to one another? What are the rules of their relationship? Are they equal?

At that moment, I knew I was lost: I had to learn more about it.

To my disappointment, the study doesn’t have all the answers I wanted. But the scientists came up with interesting conclusions about octopuses’ behavior. There are two types of throws: intentional…


How to grow in a healthy way.

This morning, I woke up and didn’t want to be my best version.

While sipping my coffee, I thought of all the things that I’ve been doing every day on my quest to “become better” — writing, exercising, drinking lots of water, making strategies for my side hustle, meditating. The list goes on.

Whenever I open any app on my phone, I see countless messages telling me how to be smarter/richer/get more followers/healthier. As the coffee slowly brought me some clarity, I felt the frustration building up inside of me. My “best version” seems to be always out of reach.


And what to say instead.

To be dumped is like sailing a boat across the ocean by yourself. You’re in the middle of nowhere, and when you look around, all you can see is water. There’s nobody to save you. No matter how much people love you, they are powerless. The only person who can help you is yourself.

Likewise, in a heartbreak, you can only rely on yourself. Your friends and family can’t process your emotions for you. There’s only one way out: to face your inner demons.

Yet, your loved ones also face a dilemma. Imagine seeing your best friend cry every night…


If you notice these: run!

The famous saying “love blinds us” is a lie. People are rational, and there’s no way we are magically blinded by a spell once we fall in love. Love is a fantasy created by society to make us get married and have children.

At least, that’s what I used to believe. Until reality hit me.

It turns out I’m not above that saying, and I’m not as rational as I’d expect. Love does blind me. To learn this lesson, I had to go through a painful experience. It all started when I met Dan during my first year of University.


Even if you still love him.

When Jake left my house that night, I was speechless. As he closed the door behind me, my vision blurred, and I ran my hand to my forehead to check my temperature, as in instinct. I walked calmly to the kitchen to get a glass of water, hoping it would make me feel better.

Except I knew it wouldn’t. Nothing would make me feel better that night.

Jake was my boyfriend in high school. He was my first love, the one who opened the world of dating for me and taught me everything I knew. Back then, I couldn’t imagine…


It’s not the end of the world.

The text is still vivid in my mind: the brightness of the screen, the tiny notification, and the Message icon on the left side. When I read it, I felt butterflies in my stomach. The information was too much to digest.

“I’m sorry, but something came up. I can’t make it tonight. ”

The sender? My boyfriend, Jonathan. It happened years ago, right after we met, back when we were still getting to know each other. You know, in the early times of the relationship, when you do your best to impress the other, everything is new and exciting.

Finally…


And almost ruined my day.

Who else is also terrified of birthdays?

When I was a kid, my birthday was my favorite time of the year. But, as I grew older, the magic slowly faded away. The presents are not as fulfilling, the party is not as fun, and the friends are not as many. Although it’s the only day of the year when I get to be selfish, somehow, my birthday became an obligation — and not a celebration.

This year, I was determined to change this mindset.

During the past year, I pushed my comfort zone to the edge. I became a writer…


Sometimes people don’t deserve a second chance.

In your teenage years, experiencing a heartbreak sounds terrifying.

My first heartbreak nearly destroyed me. I was still in high school, learning the basics of relationships. Frank and I shared an intense relationship, and we connected in levels that were unknown to me. Back then, he was my everything, and I couldn’t imagine life without him.

The problem with intense relationships is that the heartbreak is equally intense.

When Frank left me, I didn’t feel it coming. I was still on the clouds and completely in love with him. The news reached me like a punch in my face: strong…

Claire Lowe

I write about love, relationships, and sex. I’m much nicer on Twitter: https://twitter.com/clairelowrites

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